I grew up in Seattle and spent a good portion of my youth attending shows in the vibrant, local Christian alternative music scene of the early 1990s and following bands like Poor Old Lu and Soulfood 76. One of my favorite bands was Pedro the Lion, which consisted of David Bazan and various revolving musicians.
The first time I saw Pedro the Lion was at a small church show with about fifteen other people. The music was moving, and I was instantly enamored with David’s heart-felt and honest lyrics and the raw emotionalism of his music. It seemed that David was speaking things that those of us who grew up in the evangelical church world were afraid to say out loud. His focus on sin, pain, heartache, and struggles with faith were what we were all experiencing – but he was actually talking about it. It was liberating.
David became a sort of folk hero for us all.
Perhaps this is why I’m so saddened when I think about David and his recent struggle with and abandonment of Christianity. If you haven’t heard about David’s story, you should read this article. It’s moving and heartbreaking to me.
What’s saddest to me is that David’s story isn’t all that different from my own. I’ve had the same struggles of faith as him. Yet, by God’s grace, I’ve come out more assured (at times!) of my faith. David didn’t. And I could just have easily come out of my struggles with the same conclusions as him.
If you haven’t heard his latest album, Curse Your Branches, I highly recommend you listen to it. But be warned. It’s basically a break-up album with God. And it’s very raw. In fact, I’d saw it’s the most pitch-perfect depiction of post-evangelical angst I’ve come across.
Every time I listen to the album, I’m struck by it’s honesty–and if I’m honest with myself, I see reflections of my own psyche in hundreds of different ways. Ironically, listening to David’s album has strengthened my faith by making me wrestle with the same hard questions with which he wrestles. Only I come up with different answers.
Below is one of my favorite songs on the album as performed at a house show recently.